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CAUGHT IN MY HEAD

Put a record on & let's talk.

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In our culture of 140 character posts and 6 second videos, summarization is the new norm. It has even come to describing yourself or other people in as few words as possible. This tendency obviously falls short in giving the vast complexities of any one individual personality any justice. However unfair, it has made the assignment of each person with their respective thing more obvious. It seems like everyone I know has a thing. You know, like a schtick.

[This may be kind of an odd example, but bear with me. Emojis. Those tiny depictions added to texts to express thoughts or emotions instead of using words. I have developed the habit of putting emojis beside the names of contacts in my phone. While choosing the emoji to use for each person, I immediately thought of their particular thing. For example, my sister in vet school has a puppy and my best friend whose stage name (for kiddies learning science) is "Lightning Ling" has a lightning bolt.]

For the longest time in my life, I was struggling with what my thing was. For a while it was art, and then more specifically video making, and then graphic design and marketing, and I liked french for a minute there and writing has kind of always been important to me... do you see where I'm going here? I was slightly lost. I felt like I didn't really have a massive, life consuming passion for something. It's difficult to make any sort of decisions when that huge piece is missing from the puzzle. Ever since graduating in May 2013, it was like I had no motivation. I had no real desire to do graphic design or marketing for a living [what I got my degrees in]. For me, lack of a concrete "passion" [for lack of a better word] meant lack of direction.

The thing is... I did have a massive, life consuming passion, I just didn't see it that way. Music exists in the majority of my waking hours [and some non-waking hours, depending], but it felt more like that's-just-the-way-it-is rather than an outside "passion". Ergo: my major problem. I was picturing a so-called passion as something outer and encompassing, but that's a tad misguided. This love I have for music is so inner for me- it saturates my self and my lifestyle. That's why I had difficulty separating the passion from my actual self. But, now that I have, I'm almost too excited about it. I've been reading books about the music business and learning things that I had always wondered, but had never really thought to look up.

One of the things I used to do just for the hell of it, not realizing it was this whole passion thing, was host a 2 hour radio show at my college radio station WDCE 90.1fm. [You can check it out at wdce.org]. I started when I was a freshman back in Spring 2010 and have always loved it. Coming up with new songs and bands to play each week was so exciting for me. I was already researching bands all the time anyway, so getting the chance to share that with listeners was very satisfying. Senior year, I assumed the role of Program Director for the station and sat on the executive board. WDCE was kind of in dire straights at that point- almost getting closed down by the University. But, thanks to the efforts of our executive board, we turned it around and it will hopefully only keep going up. I recently just started my show back up, having taken the Spring off because of work conflicts. The show is called Communal Listening [long story] and I'm on air every Wednesday from 1PM to 3PM EST. If you're interested in 2 hours jam packed with indie rock, folk, and pop [with little talk], you should definitely check it out! [That's a little something I like to call shameless self promotion :] ] I'm hoping my work at WDCE will have some impact in me getting a job or internship sometime soon.

I know this is a "music" blog and a I have yet to actually talk about any specific bands or records, but bear with me. Next post will less about me and more about la musique.

Xx. J